(Cath) Anxiety – perspective from a Classical violinist and teacher

The Classical performance environment tends to be different to Contemporary/Rock/Pop/Jazz genres as the venue, dress and concert etiquette tends to be more formal, perhaps heightening expectations and tension? The audience may have clearer preconceptions of the end-product, although this of course can be true of the Contemporary scene as well. It is important to differentiate between butterflies (normally appear pre-concert and usually disappear once event underway); nerves (can start to affect performance) and anxiety, which I term as much more debilitating, seriously affecting preparation, performance and enjoyment of the event.

As a violinist, very fine motor skills are required. For example, moving a finger literally a millimetre affects tuning. Therefore you have to be very precise and if you are feeling anxious this is harder to achieve. We also play ‘asymmetrically’ - there are very different actions required from each side of the body - and this can be problematic if anxiety is affecting physical movements.

I become anxious if I’m out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone would be playing orchestral rank and file, enjoying being part of the mixed sound of my section and feeling part of the product. I also feel most at home in string quartets, theatre/show pits and the 16-piece small string ensemble I play in. This is because I feel more comfortable and therefore play better when I know I am surrounded by supportive people who won’t judge me. It is vital to have a supportive environment and fellow musicians when playing in a small group. Yet I need an element of peer-judgement to stay on playing form and challenge me. There is a lot of snobbery in the Classical scene and this can make you feel inadequate and anxious, especially if you haven’t got a respected ‘Conservatoire’ training. Out of my comfort zone would be playing solo in an exposed way. I have had mild panic attacks in the past and maybe my brain thinks there will be another one if the scenario is repeated? I was brought up doing competitive music festivals and although this was great performance experience and I did well in them, I wonder whether it has affected my comfort with solo performance now. I don’t like competitive attitudes in the music business – it’s not what it’s about for me. I think I might have some perfectionism syndrome yet I know deep down ‘nobody’s perfect’ (to coin a phrase). I sometimes struggle to see the wider musical picture and perhaps become too self-centred in my own performing.

Ways of coping?

Practising so I know I’m on top of the technique; visualising the event; knowing the music aurally very well; engaging and socialising with fellow musicians; playing the music I enjoy; playing music I know is within my capabilities and… Bach Rescue Remedy works wonders. No idea whether it is a placebo but it works for me!